you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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