i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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