that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My hand turned me down
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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