nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
She made me pour olive oil on her.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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