Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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