Kiss
Puke
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize