Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
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