So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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