we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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