Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize