So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
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after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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