just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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