guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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