New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
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You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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