tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize