i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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