she woke up with a sticky ear
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
its liver damage thursday
Randomize