Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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