Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize