honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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