i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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