I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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