We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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