As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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