there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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