walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize