you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
two words...techno handjob
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
sex in a hospital.. check
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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