this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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