Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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