I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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