I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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