I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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