i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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