I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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