a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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