Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You can't wash away shame.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I can try.

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  (781): You can't wash away shame. (1-781): I can try. http://tfl.nu/os07
  Replies (8) Good night (1239) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...

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  (864): If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late... http://tfl.nu/m8kg
  Replies (2) Good night (1572) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.

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  (513): I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim. http://tfl.nu/b9e4
  Replies (15) Good night (5321) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?

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  (805): Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...? http://tfl.nu/0j4d
  Replies (20) Good night (3252) Bad night (2126) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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  (708): Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success. http://tfl.nu/6b9r
  Replies (12) Good night (2385) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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  (702): Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home. http://tfl.nu/nbuo
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (2976) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

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  (301): he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again. http://tfl.nu/vkbm
  Replies (8) Good night (2164) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?

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  (320): It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college? http://tfl.nu/c66r
  Replies (8) Good night (1574) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?

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  (402): I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category? http://tfl.nu/je1r
  Replies (17) Good night (2727) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.

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  (416): You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams. http://tfl.nu/dmv7
  Replies (4) Good night (1807) Bad night (400) Order T-Shirt
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Don't answer that. It is bad.

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  (226): Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice? (226): Don't answer that. It is bad. http://tfl.nu/e65p
  Replies (5) Good night (1117) Bad night (680)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

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  (206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (315) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"

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  (303): I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?" http://tfl.nu/z8zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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  (702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu
  Replies (6) Good night (343) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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  (214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin
  Replies (9) Good night (186) Bad night (599) Order T-Shirt

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