the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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