yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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