I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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