it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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