Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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