Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize