Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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