Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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