How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Houston, we have a blender
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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