Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I intend to get homeless drunk
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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