1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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