I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize