Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize