do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize